–
I held on so long to a comfort
stuffed into the curve of my arm,
on nights when no one noticed
the child behind this mask of man.
I held on to a space outdated,
to a void I thought I’d vacated,
crouching into a cramped corner
of considered claustrophobia,
convinced I was more the victor
than the victim
–
(at times we can be both).
–
I held on so long to a tear
I thought time had torn but tides
are temperamental, unlike teddies,
they fold back on themselves
and we are swept again under, later,
long after, as if they had waited
to defy expectation
–
(we are experts at expecting to be the exception).
–
No one and nothing drowns
in the first wave. All and everything
is a cycle, tides come and go
and then return to take some more.
We are children and then adults
until adults lost in longing,
longing to understand the hold
of the child behind this mask of man.
–
All words and photographs by Damien B. Donnelly
Damien B. Donnelly 
“but tides are temperamental, unlike teddies,”
Daughters were texting me and my husband yesterday. Our older daughter brought her childhood Humpty to work with her yesterday, carrying him in her backpack. Someone was interviewing her about childhood stuffed animals for a dissertation. Lots of back and forth texts about Humpty and Ahh Bear (younger daughter’s Teddy). Ahh Bear still lives at our house because of their dog, but she visits him. 🙂
I love this tale of daughters and teddies, how attachments take hold and never really leave us. I am beginning to wonder if I am tied to the teddy or tied to a past that he represents
I would think you’re tied to both. Isn’t he real, like Humpty and Ahh Bear?
Yes, of course he is real, just not everyone knows it!!! x
Oh, well I do. ❤
Great wordworking there. I love the way you use variation in sound and meaning. Very auditory.
This literally stemmed from a therapy session which came down to a question of do I need to let go of the Teddy!!! I suggested separate beds for now!