LIVING

I am angry,
Tired, sleepless, restless,
Bitter, torn
And twisted.

I am tearful,
Frightened, silenced, muted,
Mixed up, maddened
And pestered.

I am bloody
Boiling, brooding, blushing,
Bending over
Backwards.

But I’m alive
Surviving, breathing, breaking,
Living, learning,
Evolving.

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MOTHERS CHILD

We are carved and we are cared for,
Cuddled and coddled all our lives,
But we are, will always remain
A mother’s creation, the love
And labour of the hands
That first held us.

I see you
In me, in the minutes so simple,
In the moments so precious,
Sometimes so predictable,
Other times obscure.

I see you
In me, all your lessons listened to,
Learnt from, lived out, a part
Of me now, a part
Of who I am.

I see you
In me, in my ever evolving hands,
Fumbling along their lines of life
But I see your caress steering,
Guiding me on as I
Clutch, climb,
Create.

I see myself
In you, in your eyes, reflecting all
My passion and your pride
Of this gift you gave me,
This life, its laughter
And its love.

I see you,
Ignoring the separating distances,
The forceful waters that flood
Their way around us
But have failed so
In their attempt
To divide us.

I see you
Today, in that jumble of geography,
Challenging the mountains high
And the tides returning,
Unbreakable.

I see you
The light and magic, the mother
Miraculous, a million others
All waiting, wanting, trying,
A million babies, needing,
And still we found
Each other.

I see you
Right before me, yesterday, today
Carefully tidying up memories,
Gently tossing away tears,
Happy in what we had,
Forever soothing
My fears.

I see you,
Smiling. I see you, living, learning.
I see you in heels and happiness,
I have watched you forgiving
And forgetting. I see you
Laughing and loving.
I see you.

I see you
And through you I can see myself
And smile at all we’ve created,
Laugh at the joy we shared,
Wait with the breath held
For all that’s still
Yet to come.

I see you
Now, see the twinkle in your eyes
And I smile at the strength
You taught me.

I see you,
Like this,
Always.

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THE DARK ABYSS

Darkness
Like a blanket
Pulled too tight
On a warm day
And sweeps
Over the body
And seeps,
Like a sickness,
Beneath the skin.

Darkness,
Like clouds blocking
Out a summers sun,
Covers life from light
And sucks,
Like a leech,
At love
And laughter.

Darkness,
Like the enemy,
Fakes falsities
To befriend you
Then blinds you,
Breaks you,
Betrays you,
Drains you.

Darkness,
Like an itch
You cannot scratch,
Grates its way
Along your spine
To pierce you,
Panic you,
Pull you
Down,
Dull and deep,
And leaves you
In the abyss
Lost.

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FOLD IN THE SHEET

Lost in the fold in the sheet
That separates us, so close
We slumber, in our own reverie,
Slipping apart in the trappings
That coil around us, while you
Do not turn to look, to see me

Tangled.
Lost in the fold in the sheet,
My arms caught by my side,
My legs entwined in themselves,
I am motionless while you twist
And turn, dribble and yawn and
Dream of other places, other
Times, other encounters, unaware
Of the struggle I sweat through

Quietly.
Lost in the fold in the sheet
A fragile twist of cotton, fate
Adhering itself to me, I am
Cocooned, blanketed in bed,
Matted to mattress, afraid
Of the unconscious, fearful
How tomorrow will find me,
But hopeful for the mornings

Release.

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FLYING IN AIR

I am airborne,
Life is being lived
Beneath me
Amid the flickering lights,
In the daunting darkness,
Like festive fairies twinkling-
All myth and mystery,
Miles away
Amid mountains
That look like molehills,
Meandering mechanically
In moving motors.

I am now living
In the breath held,
Passing through time,
Pausing,
Passive,
Patient,
Pondering possibilities,
Playing ability
Against probability
Wondering where I will rest
One day, that day
When wings ring out
With weariness
And my feet find their land again
And path to plod along.
I know
What lies beneath,
Have seen the suction
Of the cites
And their seduction,
Have seen the wonder
In the wilderness
Where wolves are wild
And winds are free,
But I am ignorant
Of what rests above,
Up there,
Out of reach,
Far from sight
In the darkening deafness,
Beyond the burnt out stars
And all understanding of existence.

I am airborne,
Live is being
Lived out
Beneath me,
Without me,
And I wonder
Are the souls
Who left me
Long ago
Flying above me?

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FRAGILE BEAUTY

Fragile beauty

Caught in the garden,

Flickerings of ruby red

Tenderly unraveling

From garlands of green

Amid a day

Named ordinary.

It is the fairest pleasure,

The simplest suggestion of perfection,

Nature unearthing itself

Onto the world

And yet

It is the easiest

To crush-

A cry of crimson

Carelessly caught

In the chaos

Of our calloused hands.

We are the blossom

Of our dull days

And are no more

Imperishable,

Unbreakable,

Immortal

Than a rose

Risen one day

To be clipped the next,

Never knowing

How a season can be

But a minute,

A year

But an hour,

A lifetime

But a day.

We hold the beauty

In our fragile fingers,

Careful we must be

How tightly

We clutch our lives,

For only in our hands

Can we shape it,

Share it

And ensure

It survives.

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