I held on so long to a comfort

stuffed into the curve of my arm,

on nights when no one noticed

the child behind this mask of man.

I held on to a space outdated,

to a void I thought I’d vacated,

crouching into a cramped corner

of considered claustrophobia,

convinced I was more the victor

than the victim

(at times we can be both).

I held on so long to a tear

I thought time had torn but tides

are temperamental, unlike teddies,

they fold back on themselves

and we are swept again under, later,

long after, as if they had waited

to defy expectation

(we are experts at expecting to be the exception).

No one and nothing drowns

in the first wave. All and everything

is a cycle, tides come and go

and then return to take some more.

We are children and then adults

until adults lost in longing,

longing to understand the hold

of the child behind this mask of man.

All words and photographs by Damien B. Donnelly

7 thoughts on “TEDDIES AND TIDES

  1. merrildsmith

    “but tides are temperamental, unlike teddies,”

    Daughters were texting me and my husband yesterday. Our older daughter brought her childhood Humpty to work with her yesterday, carrying him in her backpack. Someone was interviewing her about childhood stuffed animals for a dissertation. Lots of back and forth texts about Humpty and Ahh Bear (younger daughter’s Teddy). Ahh Bear still lives at our house because of their dog, but she visits him. 🙂

    1. deuxiemepeau

      I love this tale of daughters and teddies, how attachments take hold and never really leave us. I am beginning to wonder if I am tied to the teddy or tied to a past that he represents

    1. deuxiemepeau

      This literally stemmed from a therapy session which came down to a question of do I need to let go of the Teddy!!! I suggested separate beds for now!

Leave a Reply