CARVED IN

 

You are carved upon the lines, carved upon the seat, carved upon the branches
and the roots and the shoots of the tree that stood before you,
carved upon the life, carved upon the heart, carved upon the tears
and the tissue and the memory of the mind that holds you,
your scent is still within the garden, still upon the chair,
is wrapped around the branches and the bushes and the buildings
that stood before you, your scent is sealed upon the body,
teases still the tongue, smelt still on the hands,
beneath the nose and on this skin that used to touch you,
there are knots within this wood, on this bench, on this tree,
on these buildings, along this body that can never be undone.
There are shadows in this garden, on this seat, beneath the branches,
in the sunlight, shadows in the sunlight, on this body that can never be erased. 
There is an echo of what was, resounding in this garden, in this seat, in this tree,

in this heart.

 

All words and Photographs by Damien B. Donnelly

PULLING AWAY

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The train pulled away
it pulled at me
pulled all I’d known
away, leaving me
lost in a scent
that was neither
you nor I
but what we had
once been
before we’d broke
broken and pulled away
the train pulled away
pulled at broken bits
scented, soured, stained
and tourists pulled bags
this way and that, pulling
belongings bulging,
bags and baggage,
so much baggage, so much,
belongings, I don’t belong
I was empty handed
I was bagless,
covered in a stale scent
but without belonging
but weighed down
yes, weighted
with all the baggage
we’d accumulated
and curated
and cut down
and thrown out
and the train
pulled away
and you
slipped
away

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

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Time slips past
unannounced, unnoticed
age gains weight, adds numbers
carves lines, plots paths
tomorrow turns, becomes today
falls to yesterday
love slips past, everlasting
never lasting
hearts hold hands, change hands
change hearts
I do becomes I can, then I will try
I cannot stay
life slips past
ever evolving, ever learning
as we rise and fall
we crisscross, we get cross
we get crossed off
we get confused, we feel confined
compartmentalised
become complacent, begin to question
what we did, where we’re going
without ever knowing
what happens next…

All words and pictures by Damien B. Donnelly

DROWNED IN DENIAL

 

Taken by the sea
And buried in the sands
As man could not claim him
Hold him, place him,
Lost to the world
A loss before life began,
He crossed the waters
Of hurt, in hope.
We may cry for him
We may mourn for him
But we are the makers
Of this wicked world
And in our failing hands
We sealed his fragile fate

They come with only hope
But drown in our own denial.

Words and Pictures by Damien B. Donnelly

THE DIRGE FOR DYING DREAMERS

So the seagulls sang
As I sailed away
And my future swam out to the seas,
And the cormorants crooned
A slow distant dirge
As my mind swept to waves of memories,
I remembered you there
On the beach that day
As your eyes poured torrents of tears,
I had promised you then
That one day I’d return
But my words could not wash off your fears,
There were often times
I drowned in your arms
Don’t you know how you held on to me,
All the fear that you had
That one day I’d run away
Had chased me off and into the sea,

And so I sailed on,
I sailed on,
I sailed on,
I sailed on into deep and endless seas,
And as you watched on,
You watched on,
You watched on,
I heard your cries on the cold morning breeze,

But I hope you’ll never know
What it’s like to lose your way
While lying as bodies entwined,
And I’m sorry that you’ll know
What it’s like one more time
Being the one who has been left behind.

Till eve turned to night
I swam through the past
Till a wild storm cast our young ship astray,
And the herons all hushed
And the currents all crashed
As the night stole the light from the day,
Then the skies roared with rain
Which the waves rose to meet
As Sirens sang up from the sea,
While in the mounting rage
The pipes called me home
Playing doomed strings of sorrow for me,
And so the wild winds wailed
And the bodies were strewn
And to the moonlight I sent one last prayer,
While like a slow deep dive
Of a gannet in flight
The ship sailed into ice cold despair,

And so I let go,
I let go,
I let go,
I let go of what was once you and me,
And when I let go,
I let go,
I let go,
The waves made a resting bed for me,

But I hope you’ll never know
What it’s like to lose your way
While lying as bodies entwined,
And I’m sorry that you’ll know
What it’s like one more time
Being the one who has been left behind.

So the seagulls sang
As I was slung from the sea
And the crowds gathered slowly around,
And the albatross loomed
And waited and watched
As my body washed up on the ground,
Then the herons all howled
As you heard the news
To drown out your sorrows and pains,
And the cormorants crooned
That slow distant dirge
As I spluttered and slipped and the blood left my veins.

In the distance I saw her
Come floating into sight
Her red hair in ringlets like you,
Swimming through the waves
Like a watering flame
She swept me up and out of the blue,
For seven long years
We’ve mourned for our loss
Like a sharp stab from the roses sly thorn,
That wee child of our love
Who for this earth was too frail
Has dived into this new world reborn,
She forgets it, my love
Forgets that dark night
That last night when she left us alone,
So rest now, my dear
For our angel is safe
Now that her Daddy’s come home,

But I hope you’ll never know
What it’s like to lose your way
While lying as bodies entwined,
And I’m sorry that you’ll know
What it’s like one more time
Being the one who has been left behind,

How many miles
Do we need to walk along
How much do we have to explore?
How many tides
Do we need to sail on
Until we can find our own shore,
Until we can find our own shore,
Until we find true love once more?

THE DRAW OF ANOTHER DAWN

Sitting
Wrapped in blankets,
In search of comfort,
In a corner,
Away from the mirth
And the madness.

Sitting
Wrapped in thoughts,
Distance dividing sorrow,
Tears washing away
Your image.

Sitting
As the piano plays,
Tickling tunes
Taunt with tension,
Tinged with regret.

Sitting
Worrying about
The what has been,
While waiting
For the what will be.

Sitting
As light fades from
Another day,
Waiting
As another dawn
Draws near.

FOLD IN THE SHEET

Lost in the fold in the sheet
That separates us, so close
We slumber, in our own reverie,
Slipping apart in the trappings
That coil around us, while you
Do not turn to look, to see me

Tangled.
Lost in the fold in the sheet,
My arms caught by my side,
My legs entwined in themselves,
I am motionless while you twist
And turn, dribble and yawn and
Dream of other places, other
Times, other encounters, unaware
Of the struggle I sweat through

Quietly.
Lost in the fold in the sheet
A fragile twist of cotton, fate
Adhering itself to me, I am
Cocooned, blanketed in bed,
Matted to mattress, afraid
Of the unconscious, fearful
How tomorrow will find me,
But hopeful for the mornings

Release.

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A LOVE OF LAND AND SEA

We were the writers
Of our own world,
You and I,
Creators and curators
Of our own course
And from that first embrace
We built the blueprint
Of our future
Together,
We burnt our imprints
Onto each others flesh
And built a life around
The connection we made
Far from a world
Waged on wealth and war.
We were land and sea
You and I,
For a land without sea
Is just barren and bare
And sea without land
Is but droplets in the air.
We were land and sea
You and I,
And in our rising
I became the half and you
The rest of the whole,
The compliment
To the combination,
Perched so often
Neath star sprinkled sky
Staring at its bounty
Where our fate lay in wait.

By reaching out
I’d found you,
By looking back
You’d seen me.
Lying body upon body,
Soul upon soul,
Strength relieving weakness,
Playing in the fields
Of our own new world,
We created a new life,
They said,
One life,
Our Life.

We built a bond
And blurred the lines
Between you and I.

We had fallen
Deeply.

How did I let that go?

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THREE, TWO, ONE

There once were three people
Namely you, him and me,
There once was voyage
Taking him out to sea.
It gave one chance meeting,
A liaison for us,
Your three nights without him
Lent you three nights for us.

Are you somewhere around
Can you hear me right now?
Do you wake in the night
Sometimes wondering how
Between you, him and me
Can the gap be so small,
If you loved me back then
Did you love him at all?

Can our minds talk freely
From the closeness we shared?
If he wasn’t away
Would you ever have dared?
Your union departed
To let our time arrive,
Your union returned,
Ours could never survive.

I’m alone now again
But not sad and not scared
Though silently missing
All the closeness we’ve shared.
I may wonder at times
Are you still together
Or has our chance meeting
Now changed you forever?

I look for you often
But I scare that we’ll meet
Though still I step slowly
As I walk down your street.
But again you are two,
Not our two, but your two
So I wonder who was I
In the time spent with you?

Just two little lost boys
Found but for a moment,
Cautiously caressing
An air of atonement.
A lack of time and words
Kept the pretence away,
Can love really be found
In a lover who’ll stray?

From long lovely kisses
Neath a slumbering moon
To minute embraces
In a candle lit room.
From finding each other
In a noisy café,
To parting on the stairs
And an end to my stay.

With not a word since then
I’ve figured out my part
And returned once again
To my solitary heart.
Although this time the pace
Has now one extra beat
For our three nights embrace
When our two hearts did meet.

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MH17

I am the morning’s excitement
And the afternoon’s adrenalin,
The suitcase that’s been packed
And the closet that’s been emptied,
I am the silly song
That you heard on the radio
As the taxi whisked you away.
I am all the commotion
And the confusion at the gates
And the skipping couple in the queue,
I’m the oversized baggage
And panicked search for passports,
I am the liquids left in handbags
That you can’t take with you.

I am the last minute shopping
At duty free prices
From beer and wine
To cigarettes and chocolates,
I’m the magazines you bought
To read on the flight,
I’m the books to forget on the beach.
I am the baby that cries
In the buggy in front of you
And the boy that smiles
In the line behind you,
I am the red ribbon worn
On the jacket of the man
Who types on the laptop beside you.

I am the final greeting
As you board the plane,
But I never once believed
I’d be your final step on earth.

I am all the anguish that’s been left in your absence,
All the pain that’s departed you from pleasure,
I am the empty space in the air above,
I am the void that’s impossible to measure.

I am the white balloon set free to fly,
You are now the twinkling stars that fill our sky.