PULLING AWAY

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The train pulled away
it pulled at me
pulled all I’d known
away, leaving me
lost in a scent
that was neither
you nor I
but what we had
once been
before we’d broke
broken and pulled away
the train pulled away
pulled at broken bits
scented, soured, stained
and tourists pulled bags
this way and that, pulling
belongings bulging,
bags and baggage,
so much baggage, so much,
belongings, I don’t belong
I was empty handed
I was bagless,
covered in a stale scent
but without belonging
but weighed down
yes, weighted
with all the baggage
we’d accumulated
and curated
and cut down
and thrown out
and the train
pulled away
and you
slipped
away

DIAMONDS OF THE SKY

 

We are all stars
we twist and turn and twinkle
we are the bright burning light
we blaze like the stars
twinkle, twinkle
we burn
we are burning
Like the stars
burnt out
tick tock
hurtling across the sky
hurting beneath the sky
where we cry
we are all stars
fast paced
fast moving
we are scuttling
scooting
shooting stars
shooting each other
bullets and diamonds
the diamonds in the sky
the diamond of my eye
the reflection
the defection
the glare
the stare
the star
twinkle tick twinkle tock
we are all stars
we are here now
tick
but long gone
tomorrow
tock
light years lost
in seconds
we are blazing brilliant
bright
on borrowed time
we are nothing
nanoseconds
we are empty
we have burnt it all
already
we are burning out
now
before we’ve begun
but our souls
they shine eternal

All words and graphics by Damien B. Donnelly 

UNPACKED

 

I have emptied
All the boxes,
A lifetime
Of belongings,
A collection
Of customs,
Compromises,
Compulsions,
Convictions
Combined together
To become a whole,
A who,
A human,

I have emptied
All the boxes,
Found other shelves
To place the memories,
Other drawers
To store the scenes,
Other cupboards
To carry the clutter,
Other colours
To paint the walls
With shades
Of what is yet
To come.

I have emptied
All the boxes,
I am moved,
I have moved,
I will move again
When the moment
Meanders
Into the next
And the next
And the next

But for now
I am here,
I have emptied
All the boxes,
All of my belongings
And belong…

 

All Words and Photos by Damien B. Donnelly

CHEZ MOI

 

I release you
From the obsession,
From the overly long
Ogles of observation,
Trepidation
And a grass,
Seemingly green,
Long since remembered.

You are no longer
That deep desire
In the distant darkness,
Distracting me,
Daring me
To deploy,
To defect,
To retour.

That significant
Substance
Shimmering
In the shadows,
Swaying slowly,
Seducing me,
Enticing me.

I release you
From the waking dream
And the nocturnal rêver,
The phantom waiting
For the return
And the temptation
Teasing me
With time.
The illusions
That eluded me
In waking light,
The visions
Deceiving me
In the shade of night.

You are no longer
The haunting hunger,
The taste of what once was,
What still could be,
That insatiable need
Never fully quenched,
Never truly tested.

You are now no longer obsession,
You are now just a place called home.

 

IN THE HEART

 

I can pack a million boxes
I can walk a million roads
Cross a million seas
But I cannot pack you
In a box,
Love is not for the keeping,
Love winds its way
Along roads unknown,
Untraveled, unexpected,
Love seeps like the sea
From every box
I place it in,
No storage can seal it
No road can hold it
No sea can bind it
To its bounty
As it swims from me
Like the current
Against the tides
Of want and need.

I can pack a million boxes
I can walk a million roads
Cross a million seas
But I cannot pack love
Like I cannot pack hope,

But I can hold them
Both
In my heart

 

THE ALPHABET OF WALKING AWAY

 

 

 

I walk away abolishing all affinities
I walk away believing it to be better
I walk away casting off all comforts
I walk away desirous for the distraction
I walk away ego eager for extra
I walk away from all the familiar
I walk away to gather goodness
I walk away healing hurt and holding hope
I walk away into the inevitable
I walk away to elongate the experience
I walk away before kindness kills
I walk away letting longing loose
I walk away to make all moments matter
I walk away never knowing what’s next
I walk away opening up to opportunity
I walk away putting out the pretences
I walk away quietly questioning cause
I walk away to reconstruct and ripen
I walk away to seek something sustainable
I walk away to tempt a transfiguration
I walk away to unwind, unroll and unravel
I walk away to vanish from your voodoo
I walk away to be a witness of the world
I walk away to add the x into extraordinary
I walk away from all that yesterday yearned
I walk away to ardently and zealously zing

 

All Words and Photographs by Damien B. Donnelly

 

 

COMPLETED

Hungry
To lock lips again,
To draw you in,
Touch your skin
So recently kissed
By the sun,
To feel your hands
Finding their was around me
And shiver, once again,
At that sensation,
To have your breath
Upon my neck,
Along my chest,
Between my thighs
And everywhere else
That you wish to travel along me,
Let me be your next vacation
As you become my intoxication
Where I fall enchanted
By your scent
As you wash over me,
As my tongue
Finds that taste
So long away from me
In streams of love and lust,
All the while smiling
And feeling that smile between us
Sinking deep beneath skin,
Rousing endorphins
That thrill and tingle
Every inch of our being.

This is what the novels meant,
This is how those movies played,
This is the joy that was once
Spoken about as myth,
As fairytale, this is
Being home, in arms,
Wrapped in that embrace
That takes you,
With one touch, one look,
To another place,
Unconcerned with anything
Complicated, tedious, stressful,
But is nothing more simple
Than finding yourself welcomed
Within the heart of someone else,
Equally open, earnest, receptive,
Thoughtful, different to you
But the same too,
Someone who will question you,
Challenge you, create in you,
Wake you, shake you, love you
Awaken the laughter within you,
Someone somehow
Once a stranger to you,
Once an unknown traveller
In this world of coincidences
That sometimes lets the similar collide,
And suddenly, in a crash of considered
And complete clarity,
You are combined together
And candidly completed.

ANOTHER EXODUS

Being born,
We die from the life before we lived,
That existence within our maker,
But time transcends
And towards the light we fall,
Swept along with an ignorance of the future
And a tire of the past,
The Exodus arrives
And the tunnel ends

Hands engulf,
Drawing us into a plebeian existence
Where breeds an ignorance of the past,
A fancy for the future
And an enduring of the present,
But crawling
Our only path is towards another death,
Another existence,
Another light in a radiant tunnel;
Another Exodus

FOLD IN THE SHEET

Lost in the fold in the sheet
That separates us, so close
We slumber, in our own reverie,
Slipping apart in the trappings
That coil around us, while you
Do not turn to look, to see me

Tangled.
Lost in the fold in the sheet,
My arms caught by my side,
My legs entwined in themselves,
I am motionless while you twist
And turn, dribble and yawn and
Dream of other places, other
Times, other encounters, unaware
Of the struggle I sweat through

Quietly.
Lost in the fold in the sheet
A fragile twist of cotton, fate
Adhering itself to me, I am
Cocooned, blanketed in bed,
Matted to mattress, afraid
Of the unconscious, fearful
How tomorrow will find me,
But hopeful for the mornings

Release.

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CINQUAIN IN FRANCE

I see
In a vast bar
On the edge of my past
A boy so lost amid the crowd
And you,

There was,
In the mayhem,
A sense of happening,
A feeling of the familiar
In you,

Brown shirt
And dark blue jeans,
Gaze so deep to drown in
And a gentleness that caught me
Unaware,

In truth,
I had not seen
Or noticed you come in
But from the moment I saw you
I knew,

You were
The smile I sought,
The acceptance I craved,
The friendship I needed to find
At last,

I was
The curious
Little bird who’d found flight
And a place to perch in Paris
But then
In France
I was foreign,
A fool to fortitude
And invisible to all eyes
But yours,

I found
As time trickled
A fondness in that find,
A connection in the chaos
To last
Past boys
And men who came
To try us and test us
To see us laugh and to see us
Fall down.

I will
In these few lines
Try my best to thank you
For taking the time to see me
Back then,

The smile
That you offered
On that night, in that bar
Made a fearful foreign young boy
Feel home.

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