As a child
was I thoughtless
or just thought less?
Less taught.
Less to think about?
Was there really less to see,
less to love?

For life was never loveless.

As a man
I have given so much away, I guess,
less love left,
less to give,
more gone.

Does it grow back,
like children grow
and learn and know
before becoming thoughtless again,
before taking more of their share,
before leaving less for the rest?

Less to give. More gone. What rests?

But I am not a noisy nothing
because I have emptied love
into other hearts,
hungry,
happy,
heavy,
hard..

But now, with the knowledge
that I no longer know less,
I know this:

I am not less than the child
who once thought less,
I am not less than the man
who once loved more.

I see
in the mirror, dimly,
and sometimes clearly,
those pieces that have parted
and the person that remains,
someone between child and man,
somewhere between innocence
and all the light that is dimmer after its loss,
somewhere between the thinking
and the taking and the being taken,

I am
somewhere
between it all,
looking back, reaching out,
holding up the faith that has fallen
and regarding the fate that is waiting,
reflecting the hope that the child sees
and the one that every man needs,

holding
up the love
that will always be
at home in my heart,
whether or not I am
framed by someone
or single, just me.
just one.

For even if it is just one
it is far from none.

I am not nothing and never will be.
This I used to know in part
but now I know in full.

All words and pictures by Damien B. Donnelly

Audio version available on Soundcloud: