A constant darkness,
the future unfolds like the road;
route unknown, the past ever present
but kissed goodbye;
my lips still taste of yesterday,
my hips the heat of your caress
that has since slipped from these sheets.
I was always bound to restless,
to rest less and less, I am creature creative;
a constant recreation concerned more with shadow than light,
more with what I don’t yet know
than where I have already ready been.
I am taxi traveller,
I will take you with me, naked
under the sweating sun, tender under starlight
but you are only fair;
you are the hitchhiker along my highway,
a distraction on route to destination.
We are not destiny,
no two are designed alike,
every soul a single sojourn.
I am city when you are desert,
I am sand when you are stone,
I will have dried up before you learn to open up.
I will meet you under moonlight,
by the gaslight already flickering
in the morning light, only the stars will see us
burning bright, for we are stars; rising in the darkness,
this constant darkness,
I will drink you and then discard you
when the dawn calls me back to destination
before you break me, I will set off before you slow me,
before you show me who you want me to be.
I am everything and nothing in your eyes, all lies,
we are only reflections, projections of hope and hurt,
I cannot be all you want
when we don’t really know who we are.
We are starlight, like I said, already burning out
before begun, drawn to distraction
and drawing on our own dust.
But I am constant, now, to the calling,
am free to flight and fall,
I will love you
Forever and yet leave you
before you’ve even considered it
a compliment to concern yourself with who I am
because all we have learned
is to look for ourselves in each other.
And yet I am other. Another.
No other, bound to no body and everybody,
at home in hotels that hold me for hire,
every stop another station in the formation,
every sheet another burn as we twist and turn
and then, in twisting, we turn,
we are roads constantly crossing,
trying to get to the other side
to see if the darkness is lighter, brighter,
but this darkness, this constant darkness
is not a dark abyss, this constant darkness
can only be conquered at the check-out.
A constant darkness,
we are all travellers on a road,
making moments, making magic, making mistakes
believing the future is forever,
but I am not concerned or consoled by forever,
I am here now, running reckless
along these roads, seeking sustenance, seeking solace,
and occasionally a comfort from the cold that comes a calling,
(I will give you what I have willing if you promise
not to take it unevenly) seeking satisfaction
in things temporary, leaving a part of me
in everything I touch,
hoping it’s enough,
hoping you will remember
the scent of my skin though we were too thin
to be true, too fragile to be anything more
than a fickle tickle,
trying to understand the sweet sorrow,
the ebb and flow, the hope and the hurt.
Goodbye can be a greeting as warm as hello.
Good boy, I am trying to be a good boy
burning through this constant darkness
and smiling as I soar and sizzle.
A constant darkness
so we can gaze at the stars in their glory.
All words and pictures by Damien B. Donnelly
Based on a poetry series inspired by the albums of Joni Mitchell