LONG DEPARTED

Nothing,

Noting the minutes ticking by,

The light descending into darkness,

Today becoming the memory of tomorrow

And yesterday, so long departed.

Nothing,

Waiting for the phone to ring,

A job to emerge into my job,

My home to change into your home,

And this city to be over, long departed.

Nothing,

Twitching toes and filling hours,

Packing boxes and building up trash,

What to take and what to leave,

All that remains and the rest, long departed.

Nothing,

Nothing happening, for now,

Not here, not today, but tomorrow,

All of this, all this fuss, all this worry,

Tomorrow, all of this, long departed…

ALL THE LOVERS

A thought for all the lovers
All those perfect precious pairs,
The ones with hearts all hopeful
The we’s, the us’s and their’s,

A thought for all those holding hands
Keeping couples connected,
Who sneak a kiss along aisle 5
Who tempt and tease, thrust and thrive,

A thought for all the cuddles,
The spooning, forking, hugging,
A thought for every small embrace,
The rubbing, necking, pecking,

A thought for those with candles,
Dimming lights and opening wine,
A thought for those accepting,
Who think their partners are divine,

A thought for those who read aloud
While their soulmates close their eyes,
Listening to the voice they know
That will never tell them lies,

A thought for those together
Those living lives united,
A thought for those who stay the storm
Who refuse to be divided,

A thought for those still waiting
To those still trying to believe
That there might be something out there
A rescue, reward, reprieve…

THE STORM

I stood, firm footed against fate, beside the storm,
A raucous rage of twisting winds and hollow howls
As waves, frothing with fierce foam, forced their way
Upon the land, as if claiming some right to survive.
I saw, amid the sweeping sound of the stormy sea
As it clawed, climbed and crashed its way forward,
The horizon line, looking like no more than a drop off;
A free falling finality from which all would fall and fade.
I watched the wilful waves as they crested the currents
And fell beneath, all in one endless search for a shore
To stumble upon, to rest along, in the everlasting hope
For an end to the ebb and flow of life and all its longing.

I turned, just as all those times before, to share with you
This wondrous world unfolding but found myself alone
Staring into a void where time and space had placed us,
Distracted us, before it carelessly, casually destroyed us.
I wondered, in absence, what world you now witnessed
As the tides tickled my feet and sand slapped my skin
And I reminded myself, once again, that you were gone,
No longer by my side, or in my hand, or breath on flesh.
Your desertion washed over me like the tides, in waves
As I wondered why I had met you and how I had lost you,
How I had let myself believe that an oarless broken boat
Could ever carry us onward to the places we’d dreamt of.
I lost myself, in that time, in all those seas of uncertainty,
Lost in a hope that the tides would set us right, that winds
Would carry us and an ocean of something could make up
For a past full of failures and fears you had yet to cast off.

I could have drowned in all that debris, in all that decay,
Stayed silent, not swam, not fought back at all the forces
But I gasped for air, in those final moments, and the ripples
I made favoured me and carried me back to the shore, alone.

I stood, firm footed against fate, and realised the storm had passed.

 

Audio version available on Soundcloud:

https://soundcloud.com/damien-donnelly-2/the-storm

COMPLETED

Hungry
To lock lips again,
To draw you in,
Touch your skin
So recently kissed
By the sun,
To feel your hands
Finding their was around me
And shiver, once again,
At that sensation,
To have your breath
Upon my neck,
Along my chest,
Between my thighs
And everywhere else
That you wish to travel along me,
Let me be your next vacation
As you become my intoxication
Where I fall enchanted
By your scent
As you wash over me,
As my tongue
Finds that taste
So long away from me
In streams of love and lust,
All the while smiling
And feeling that smile between us
Sinking deep beneath skin,
Rousing endorphins
That thrill and tingle
Every inch of our being.

This is what the novels meant,
This is how those movies played,
This is the joy that was once
Spoken about as myth,
As fairytale, this is
Being home, in arms,
Wrapped in that embrace
That takes you,
With one touch, one look,
To another place,
Unconcerned with anything
Complicated, tedious, stressful,
But is nothing more simple
Than finding yourself welcomed
Within the heart of someone else,
Equally open, earnest, receptive,
Thoughtful, different to you
But the same too,
Someone who will question you,
Challenge you, create in you,
Wake you, shake you, love you
Awaken the laughter within you,
Someone somehow
Once a stranger to you,
Once an unknown traveller
In this world of coincidences
That sometimes lets the similar collide,
And suddenly, in a crash of considered
And complete clarity,
You are combined together
And candidly completed.

THE REASON AND THE RHYME

Goodbye he said
As the train door closed
And sliced our world in two

Goodbye I thought
What a word to use
At the end of me and you

Goodbye he said
And I wondered what
Good there was in farewell

Goodbye I thought
As he left me there
Hurt and unhappy in hell

Goodbye they say
When the endings near
Suggesting we can breathe

Goodbye they say
At the curtain call
Signalling the time to leave

Goodbye we say
When it’s time to go
When to stay is far too futile

Goodbye is all
That the heart can hear
When love has been bashed and brutal

Goodbye we say
When there’s nothing else
But a whistle to signal time

Goodbye is all
You have left to hold
When the reason leaves with the rhyme

BY A MOMENT IN TIME

What do you see in me,
As your eyes bore into me,
Review me, regard me?
Are you looking at me, within
For a version of yourself, without?
A comfort, consolation, connection?
Am I your opposite or your equal,
Your reflection or your desire?
What subtle certainly sways you
To share your secrets, so suddenly,
Your dreams and your desires,
Your appetites and aberrations?
What tenacious tendency
Towards the truth tempts you
To touch me, take me, taste me?

What was that calmness
That cuddled in between us?
And your voice, like a sound
I was weaned on and your hold,
Like the touch, a trigger, a trace
Of attraction, always known.

Did the world really stop,
Did time slow down
To meet us, to find us?
Us, two strangers
Names newly known,
Body by body, body on body,
Your eyes open and watching,
Watching you, watching me,
Taking, tasting, releasing,
Tension washing away.

It is flesh
At the end of the day,
We are people
At the end of the day,
We have desires
At the end of the day,
We have needs
At the end of the day,
What is wrong
At the end of the day?
Who we make love to
At the end of the day?
Your tastes, your looks,
Your penis, your vagina
Your fears, who fed them,
Your scars, who bled them.

It started and I waited
But you didn’t say no,
You smiled and then held me
And just let it go;

For this moment,
For this night,
For all you believe
And all that feels right,
For all that you fear
Let the senses guide you,
For all you’ve resisted
Let the curiosity drive you.

For all that you question,
And all that you need,
Let this moment find you
Finally freed.
Let tomorrow’s thoughts
Not try to tease you,
Let the fear of the future
Not find or freeze you.

So hold my hand,
And touch my skin,
As you feel my breath
Upon your chin.
Sense my lips
Touching yours,
Forget the time,
Forget the jeers.
Take this moment
As just a chapter
Worry not now
For the ever after.

We are adults aroused
By a moment in time,
We are bodies entwined,
Me in yours and you in mine.

LIFE TIMES

In a time of love
My heart will beat
To your name,

In a time of hate
My heart will pound
With pain,

In a time of creation
I will water the seed
And the flower shall rise,

In a time of destruction
I will protect my love
And comfort his cries,

In a time of destiny
My path will become clear,

In time for the end
I shall have relinquished my fear.

THE DIRGE FOR DYING DREAMERS

So the seagulls sang
As I sailed away
And my future swam out to the seas,
And the cormorants crooned
A slow distant dirge
As my mind swept to waves of memories,
I remembered you there
On the beach that day
As your eyes poured torrents of tears,
I had promised you then
That one day I’d return
But my words could not wash off your fears,
There were often times
I drowned in your arms
Don’t you know how you held on to me,
All the fear that you had
That one day I’d run away
Had chased me off and into the sea,

And so I sailed on,
I sailed on,
I sailed on,
I sailed on into deep and endless seas,
And as you watched on,
You watched on,
You watched on,
I heard your cries on the cold morning breeze,

But I hope you’ll never know
What it’s like to lose your way
While lying as bodies entwined,
And I’m sorry that you’ll know
What it’s like one more time
Being the one who has been left behind.

Till eve turned to night
I swam through the past
Till a wild storm cast our young ship astray,
And the herons all hushed
And the currents all crashed
As the night stole the light from the day,
Then the skies roared with rain
Which the waves rose to meet
As Sirens sang up from the sea,
While in the mounting rage
The pipes called me home
Playing doomed strings of sorrow for me,
And so the wild winds wailed
And the bodies were strewn
And to the moonlight I sent one last prayer,
While like a slow deep dive
Of a gannet in flight
The ship sailed into ice cold despair,

And so I let go,
I let go,
I let go,
I let go of what was once you and me,
And when I let go,
I let go,
I let go,
The waves made a resting bed for me,

But I hope you’ll never know
What it’s like to lose your way
While lying as bodies entwined,
And I’m sorry that you’ll know
What it’s like one more time
Being the one who has been left behind.

So the seagulls sang
As I was slung from the sea
And the crowds gathered slowly around,
And the albatross loomed
And waited and watched
As my body washed up on the ground,
Then the herons all howled
As you heard the news
To drown out your sorrows and pains,
And the cormorants crooned
That slow distant dirge
As I spluttered and slipped and the blood left my veins.

In the distance I saw her
Come floating into sight
Her red hair in ringlets like you,
Swimming through the waves
Like a watering flame
She swept me up and out of the blue,
For seven long years
We’ve mourned for our loss
Like a sharp stab from the roses sly thorn,
That wee child of our love
Who for this earth was too frail
Has dived into this new world reborn,
She forgets it, my love
Forgets that dark night
That last night when she left us alone,
So rest now, my dear
For our angel is safe
Now that her Daddy’s come home,

But I hope you’ll never know
What it’s like to lose your way
While lying as bodies entwined,
And I’m sorry that you’ll know
What it’s like one more time
Being the one who has been left behind,

How many miles
Do we need to walk along
How much do we have to explore?
How many tides
Do we need to sail on
Until we can find our own shore,
Until we can find our own shore,
Until we find true love once more?

SILENT ABSENCE

Missing you,
The silent absence,
The stillness,
The sadness,
I close doors
And pretend
You’re behind them,
I turn out lights
And imagine
You’re beneath them.

But

The silent absence,
The loneliness,
The moodiness,
Says so much more
About the distance
Now dividing us
Than all the noise
We ever made
When you were here.

And yet I’m still

Missing you
Here and now,
Amid tasks of
Dividing, deciding,
Rising and dying,
In this house
In this home,
In the city
All alone.

All the while

Missing you
As clocks tick
And miles multiply
Like all those
Minor mistakes
Unmaliciously made.
Maybe the miles
Will make more of us
Than the holding did.

And then back to

Missing you,
Missing you,
Missing

Even though

I missed you
Just as much
When you were here…