NO ROOM IN THE ARC

Falling…

through time
that never truly changes
while never really stopping,

through thoughts
that cannot be accounted for,
that cannot be considered
accountable

and still we are counting

but not the cost.

Falling…

through floorboards
of homes that are no more

(did we invent the word war?)

no more the heart at home,
no more the heart of the home;

home now an ocean bed
and no boat big enough
to hold us all

even the arc
only took two of everything

while the heavens ran with rain

yet the heart still beats
like time,

still falling…

through cracks that cannot be closed
and every splinter
splits the skin
of illusion

and we are all a delusion;
a fading reflection
of subjection,
rejection,

speculation and conjecture;
the spectre of conjecture. 

Falling…

through hands
that no longer hold
hearts now hardened

(and they say icebergs are melting)

hearts have grown cold
and have no place in homes.

Drowning…

in shallow shoals
shoals of souls
too shallow to swim in,

too sullied to see survival

as we rewrite the bible.

Drowning…

in the falling rain
too polluted to have faith in,

faith; and so fell faith
fate; and so befell Our Fate

in slow moving tears
on piers were boats are bound
to no harbour,
to no hope,
to no humanity

(christianity was a cross to heavy to bare)

Falling…

while standing up

and yet no one seems to notice.
“I came in bright as a neon light and I burnt out right there before him.’ This line is taken from Joni Mitchell’s song Lesson in Survival

All Words and Photographs by Damien B. Donnelly

Audio version available at SoundCloud:

https://soundcloud.com/damien-donnelly-2/no-room-in-the-arc

 

IF

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If
I had wings
the skies would have no limits
if
I had fins
the seas would have no depth
if
I had trust
the clouds could not delude me
if
I had belief
the currents could not drown me

but
I am man
and bound to faults and fears
but
I have eyes
that cannot see through the tears
but
I have feet that tire of walking
but
I have arms that cannot always reach

the things I want to touch
the places I want to see
the person I want to be

and yet
I have a heart

that’s fuelled on hope.

All Words and Photographs by Damien B. Donnelly

Audio version available on Soundcloud:

https://soundcloud.com/damien-donnelly-2/if

 

RED RIBBON

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You opened me
You held my heart
in your own bare hands
beating
I bared all for you
I lay naked for you
I shed my layers
revealing,
I have become undone
loosened, lessened,
I have been unravelled
like ribbon
unrolling,
red knotted ribbon,
like red rotting blood
on the stone cold floor
of a battered heart
barely beating
revealing the emptiness
of our essence.

All words and photographs by Damien B. Donnelly

 

WITHOUT NEEDING

Rip from me
My heart
And allow me
Not to care.
To love
Right now
Is too worthless,
Too wearisome.
I am weighed down
With sadness
And torment.
Let me feel
Nothing
Anymore.
I beg you.
Let me live
Without needing
Or being needed.
Let me pack up emotions
And store them away,
Safely,
Securely,
I will hold them
Once again
In a time
When many suns
Have found their setting
And many wrongs
Have been righted,
In a time
When I have learnt
How to be
Who it is
The Person that I am.

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SAFE IN YOUR HANDS

In the darkest of night, in the deepest of storms,
When all sound is eroded and all sight has elapsed.
When the entity arises with staff in his hand,
The Avenger of life; The Reaper, he stands.

When the world is divided and the soldier’s gun aimed,
As they gaze upon a land full of hatred and rage.
As war creates anger, base food for the weak
And the timid huddle together joined by a fearful streak.

No fear shall I have, no tear shall I cry,
No doubt for the future, no woe shall I sigh.

When ignorance breads hatred through the veins of brothers,
As the cord that binds us is untied and unattached.
When it’s brother against brother, battle of morals,
There can be no winner but forever foolish quarrels.

While the walls hold the cries of frightened little children,
In the heart of each stone lie the blood and the bruises.
The Adult, the Guardian, the Figure in the night
Makes innocent little children feel dirty neath the light.

No fear shall I have, no tear shall I cry,
No doubt for the future, no woe shall I sigh.

When disease engulfs and courage is tested,
The body feels betrayed by the mother, the protector.
As the ravages of decay mean now you walk, not run,
And the foreboding termination means tomorrow may never come.

When no more is there evidence of the strength of nature,
As the walls of destruction fall forth and crush the seed.
As the green of the earth becomes engulfed by doom,
And no more shall we witness the flowers beautiful bloom.

No fear shall I have, no tear shall I cry,
No doubt for the future, no woe shall I sigh.

For you will stand tall with strength in your hand,
Love in your heart and me at your command.
How could I fall into a crevice of decay,
When you stand beside me to bring life to my day.

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THREE, TWO, ONE

There once were three people
Namely you, him and me,
There once was voyage
Taking him out to sea.
It gave one chance meeting,
A liaison for us,
Your three nights without him
Lent you three nights for us.

Are you somewhere around
Can you hear me right now?
Do you wake in the night
Sometimes wondering how
Between you, him and me
Can the gap be so small,
If you loved me back then
Did you love him at all?

Can our minds talk freely
From the closeness we shared?
If he wasn’t away
Would you ever have dared?
Your union departed
To let our time arrive,
Your union returned,
Ours could never survive.

I’m alone now again
But not sad and not scared
Though silently missing
All the closeness we’ve shared.
I may wonder at times
Are you still together
Or has our chance meeting
Now changed you forever?

I look for you often
But I scare that we’ll meet
Though still I step slowly
As I walk down your street.
But again you are two,
Not our two, but your two
So I wonder who was I
In the time spent with you?

Just two little lost boys
Found but for a moment,
Cautiously caressing
An air of atonement.
A lack of time and words
Kept the pretence away,
Can love really be found
In a lover who’ll stray?

From long lovely kisses
Neath a slumbering moon
To minute embraces
In a candle lit room.
From finding each other
In a noisy café,
To parting on the stairs
And an end to my stay.

With not a word since then
I’ve figured out my part
And returned once again
To my solitary heart.
Although this time the pace
Has now one extra beat
For our three nights embrace
When our two hearts did meet.

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Paris- Within Me

What is it about you that daily replaces you In front of my eyes

No matter how far from you I travel?

Were you the first one I saw from above

With your grey slates,

Smokeless chimneys

And laddering towers to the Gods?

Specs of gallant green

Among your columns and follies,

Your marching boulevards

Like lines of proud soldiers-

Brandishing the Tri-Color

For fear the memory of Marie Antoinette

May fall forsaken.

The whitened Sacred Heart

Upon your butted highest spot-

Where Saint Denis fell to martyrdom

Long before the painters-

Doused in Absinthe-

Captured the high-kicking,

Rouged-up damsels

Amid the Moulin’s endlessly turning sails.

Your very own Taj Mahal-

Not so in keeping

With your concrete corinthian cornices

And grotesquely glaring gargoyles

And yet so missed when no longer in view.

And there,

Standing as proud as your citizens,

By the far reaches

Of your once bohemian Left banks,

Where cheers of toasts were often heard

Amid the enlightened quarrels of Sartre,

In praise for the flat-shoed Stein

And sorrow for the almost exiled Wilde,

Lies your most celebrated folly of all;

Your monstrous clunk of iron-

Within who’s restaurant Maupassant

Would willingly dine to be excused

From the very view in which he sat,

Which melted itself into the heart of me.

More than a dozen times

Have I scaled your heights

To always draw a fresh breath of awe

Upon the sight from your summit,

Like the minute memory of the goldfish;

Immeasurably forgetful

But struck again and again

By the beauty of its surroundings

As if witnessed for the first time.

Your streets planned out before me

With cars racing onwards,

Inwards and through-

So much like the blood

Pumping through the entangled archeries

Of my beating heart.

I am a million miles from you again,

On top of the world of another city

And yet you are next to me

Wherever I stand,

In front of me

No matter what I see

And beating

Still so fresh and fervently

Deep down

Within me.

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