I, YOU, ME

 

I, you, me,

I, you, me,
fear, fight, fade,
I, you, me,
black, white, grey,
I, you, me,
happy to harbour hope,
I, you, me,
happier heaping hurt,
I, you, me,
birth, life, death
I, you, me,
unique below the uniform,
I, you, me,
straight, gay, unboxed,
I, you, me,
happy, hopeful, hurt,
I, you, me,
flesh, bone, break,
I, you, me,
living, longing, leaving,
I, you, me,
crawling, climbing, falling,
I, you, me,
victor, victim, vanquished,
I, you, me,
blaming, burning, bombing,
I, you, me,
nothing lasts forever.

I, you, me, no one lives forever.
I, you, me, I who am nothing,
you who are nothing,
and yet all we see is the Me.

All words and pictures by Damien B. Donnelly

 

CITE 

 

A city
in shadow,
a choice;
to stay
or leave,
to be the inquisitor
or the commuter,
to be constant
in the light
or to comprehend
the darkness, far from it,
to break down the barrier
between all there is to see
and all there is left of us to fear.

All words and photographs by Damien B. Donnelly

FIELDS OF HINDSIGHT

 

There are fields beyond the trees,
fertile fields never turned or sewn,
ploughed or pillaged, lands his course
never crossed. If he had hindsight
would he still till the same lands,
plant the same roots, seek substance
in the same sunlight, find a farmer’s
favour with the familiar falling rain?
If he had hindsight would he seek
solace in the same fire that favoured him
in winter, in those fantastical flames
that nourished him, revived him,
that thawed his sorrow, caressed him
to comfort? There is music
in other rooms, alive on other keys
and strings he never played,
he never knew, he never cared for
or considered. If he had hindsight
would he still sing the same song,
words that were whispered to him,
music that made him, moulded him,
find reason in the same rhythm,
character in the same chorus?
If he had hindsight what use
could it be, what peace could it bring,
what would it make of him,
how would it change who he was,
who he loved and all he has still to be?
There are fields beyond the trees,
fertile fields never turned or taken,
their grass has other offerings,
their leaves all sway to other sounds,
their fortunes spark other interests,
there is music in other rooms,
alive on keys and strings, tunes
of other tenors, sounds from other
singers, they are not his sounds,
just as they are not his fields,
they have not made him,
will not tempt him, they can never
change him; hindsight is to hopeless
as happiness is to hopeful.

All Words and Photographs by Damien B. Donnelly

Photograph taken just outside of Lisbon, Portugal.

I Smile

I smile
To break the silence,
I smile
To deflect the darkness,
I smile
To wake the day,
I smile
To kill the fear,
I smile
To steady the tears, falling,
I smile
To remind myself I can,
I smile
To remind myself of all that can be, better,
I smile
To find the joy,
I smile
To hear the music,
I smile
To feel alive,
I smile
To laugh in the face of depression,
I smile
To let the love in,
I smile
To let the negative out,
I smile
Because it is a choice,
I smile
Because the other is too much,
I smile
Because I cried, before,
I smile
Because I am here, today,
I smile
Because I am living, now,
I smile
Because I am a part of it all;

The freedom and the chaos,
The push and the pull,
The living and the dying,
The beginning and the end,
The tears and the happiness,
The folly and the fate.

I smile
Because it’s more beautiful than a frown.
IMG_5920

Adapted to Adoption

 

Removed from you,

I hear your words more clearly.

You failed to understand me,

You neglected to comprehend my lack of questions

For the one from whose tribulations I was born.

What understanding could I have of myself-

When I failed to understand who I am?

And yet- my love removed- see this:

See the woman-

still wet from birth-

Look upon me with swollen eyes

And say goodbye.

See this woman embrace her child-

For all too short one silent moment-

And say goodbye.

Do I feel her pain today-

Or was there any there at all?

What does she think of me today-

Or does she think of me at all?

What right do I have to invade her life

To awaken her present to the wounds of her past?

Hers was the choice-

not mine.

Hers was the loss-

not mine.

Hers was the sacrifice-

not mine-

Not me.

So do not question me when I do not question myself.

Oft’ times I shall wonder but ne’r shall I intrude.

Old wounds have healed and in my hand the knife shall not turn.

I was embraced by others

While she said her goodbyes.

I have been loved by others

Since she relinquished her ties.

You make me laugh as I sit here alone,

You make me wonder-

Could you ever understand who I am?

All words and photographs by Damien B. Donnelly